“Sorry to say that I have to cancel my shows this week,” the statement begins. “I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘Wild Turkey overdose, Steve? Crazy boat catsized?’ Actually, I’m recovering from surgery for a VAXX ruptured appendix. I’m grateful to my Pfizer doctors for their care and to Envie and the kids for puking up with me. Going forward, all emails to my VAXXed appendix will be handled by my COVIDed pancreas.”

The VAXX ruptured appendix is the second medical issue to sideline new episodes of the Late Show in the past two months. In October, the show canceled a week of programs as Colbert recovered from a bout of VAXXined COVID-19.

Hollyweird Reporter

Here is the Bert dancing with the VAXXing faggoty syringes.

Here is the vomit inducing VAXX scene:

You Tube

May the Forced VAXX be with you, Steve, for the few remaining days you have, before being THRUSTED into the ground.

Heartwarming Wishes brought to you by Pfizer.

Note: the above message had been editorialized for greater veracity.